This post has been in the works a little while as due to the craziness of life, but turns out the timing is perfect. I say this because these words are sprinkled with lament, anguish and severe frustration. This post comes on the heels of many new stories of good people and good relationships being plagued by the drug of our lifetime- porn and the hyper-sexualization of our society. Marriages and dating relationships being torn apart due such an ingrained way of life that has it roots so intertwined with every aspect of our modern culture. I can’t help but weep over this silent pandemic, as it corrupts and poisons such a remarkable illustration of the gospel. Can you just imagine how Jesus must be weeping over this? And so as someone who had to heal and overcome many addictions as well as this,it is my duty, and my testimony to the power of Jesus’ grace and love to SPEAK UP AND OUT.
Over the last couple years S.O.S has worked with and attempted to utilize our platform
to share about other organizations. The heart of our ministry believe it or not is not refereeing, but actually how individuals who share the experience and passion of refereeing live out faith in their worlds. How we can use our platform as officials, men and women, to relate and make an impact with others who share our passions or profession. Ministry for us has always been illustrated as a bridge from experience of the gospel to helping others experience it as well. We also chose to be referees because of the community and culture that makes it. A very niche and in my opinion close community where it truly takes a referee to know and understand a referee. It’s this sort of community that creates an intimate environment where authentic relationships can be developed. Where meaningful and influential conversations or interactions can occur regularly.
CONSIDER THIS- It just makes me wonder how much Jesus’ impact on the Disciples occurred while traveling to the game site- (the site of the next sermon or miracle)? Imagine the time needing to be killed as they walked and walked. The conversations that must’ve been had.
Over the last five years we’ve seen the increase, massively, of faith conversations. Doors opened for intimate and deeply spiritual conversations. Ones that have built bridges, healing, and ultimately formed new lifelong relationships. For me I believe this has undoubtedly come through so many men and women willing to be vulnerable. And it’s the essence of the gospel.
So with that said I’m going to try to be vulnerable as I promote an awesome new documentary- Raised on Porn- created by our friends at EXODUS CRY, a non-profit organization dedicated to the elimination of not just sex trafficking but those being sexually exploited in a world pervasively drowned in it. We’ve partnered with Exodus Cry and Trafficking Hope before through our “Blow the Whistle on Sex Trafficking Campaign”.
With that said I circle back to the creation of Sport Officials Surrendered. As any person or organization there is a origin story that preludes the founding. For us, and more personally for me, it was wanting to re-commit my participation in the culture and profession of sport officiating more focused and more aware of the cultural implications that are not healthy. Growing up and beginning refereeing at age 12, it didn’t take long to find mentors and friends older then me. So many blessings came from this, but also a lot of reinforcement of unhealthy things. Mentalities that validated hyper-sexualized culture and normalized pervasiveness. A lot of which is unsurprising in what was at the time a male dominated craft. So one could imagine the effects of the overdosing of testosterone that would partner with it.
I leave room for imagination here because if you’ve experience this profession, man or woman, you have dealt with some implications of this. It wasn’t long the 12 year old turned old enough to not only comprehend what was occurring or being shared but was able to partake in what used to be just stories.
To make this more inclusive to those outside of the profession and tie this into the documentary, we all experience the pervasiveness of highly sexualized culture somehow someway in our own daily lives. Whether TV, Social Media, advertising, or just certain individuals that we interact with, all reinforce and attempt to normalize it. At the biological level there are neurological pathways being created and validated that reinforce and make such things normal, or routine. Where I experienced the normalcy of such culture came from my time dedicated to bettering my craft in officiating. To be fair it also paired with experiences that occurred in more personal settings. So it wasn’t just officiating, more so I realized before beginning S.O.S it was a sphere I had influence, where I could relate.
So as S.O.S has developed and created space in the profession for conversation, we seek to do it at even more specific levels in which areas- areas that began at home before 12- of my own life were transformed and redeemed by the Gospel of Jesus. The pervasiveness of overly lust based sexual culture is one of those levels. I’ve personally experienced the effects on relationships and personal development features that such habits and norms cause. The mentalities it creates, the inner motivations and drives it reinforces.
While I’m not trying to beat around the bush about my own experience of porn use in my developmental journey as a child and into adulthood, it was only an outcome of so much more. Such deeper roots in culture and society. It is a personal mission now and a calling to be bold and un-afraid of having or presenting conversations I never got myself, because it wasn’t deemed wrong. Maybe a lot of it has to do with having a daughter and another on the way. It brings fear into my mind about what society and culture will be for them as it is inevitable that they will eventually begin being pursued.
“Raised on Porn” is 50ish minutes of eye-opening storytelling of life experiences of what is now considered the modern day NEW DRUG. It speaks to so much more then the moralistic views of it, instead using the combination of neurology and psychology to put into perspective the obvious affects on our spiritual adultery and pervasiveness. It is a film that captures in my opinion all the possible detrimental endings of not speaking up and standing against this now. Yes, a lot of it uses extreme cases, but in reality extreme doesn’t make them rare and when conversations are avoided or never had things don’t get better. They just get quietly worse.
I sincerely hope and pray that this creates a conversation or at least draws you to watch with open mind. A mind of compassion and empathy that draws you closer to the heart of Jesus, a love for both those suffering in addiction and those affected by the addict so a bridge of healing can be formed.
Exodus Cry has produced so many resources for those interested in learning more. Check out their website HERE!
As we continue on in ministry at whatever capacity God has in store for us, we will always seek to stand for true love, never lust. That each individual can receive and be unconditionally loved. Where intimacy and great joy coexist side by side, a wonderful taste of the gospel. We will continue to stand next to the broken and walk with those who need healing. For us that means within the profession of sport officials. This is a declaration to those who may feel like they don’t have a place to turn to deal with this, or converse about the effects or porn and other hyper-sexual and pervasive attitudes.
If anything just do it for me, for my daughters and the future daughters of the next generation. Do it for the sons who will be coming up in a cultural with a greater level of normalcy. Just have a conversation.
With Love and Peace to all of you in Jesus’ name.
DD
**** Please hear me, if you are struggling, or have been hurt by someone struggling you have a people willing to walk with you. Experienced in the entire process of suffering, overcoming and healing. Don’t hesitate to reach out and we will work diligently to connect you to proper resources***
Some Possible Resources:
Celebrate Recovery: https://www.celebraterecovery.com/
Pure Desire: https://puredesire.org/
Sexaholics Anonymous: https://www.sa.org/
Various Independent Counselors Across the Country Capable and Unafraid to walk with you!
In 2020 we brought together our friends from Exodus Cry and Trafficking Hope for a night of raising awareness and education to prepare us on the worst outcome of pervasive and hyper-specialized culture- sex trafficking. With support from FCAV California , 139 This Is Me Brand, and Hosted by our good friend Rev. Dr. Mark Wesley Wagner (Mark Wagner Music) . This is an awesome beginning step for those interested in learning more about how to get involved.
